YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
