omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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