Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
