Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
