break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
