His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
