you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
