You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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