Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
