I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
