okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
