Barsexuality is the new black.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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