And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm at about main and main street
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
