I love black thongs
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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