wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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