I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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