I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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