The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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