just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
