i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
