Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This is the high leading the old right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
