using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
