I think I am morally bankrupt
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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