I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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