so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize