Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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