I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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