he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
