the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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