i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
BRING THE BAGELS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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