make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize