I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sarcasm needs its own font
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
