party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
