Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
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