I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
