Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
