Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
