3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
