I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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