Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
