he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
