god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
