did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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