Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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