I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Mom said you looked used
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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