Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize