Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just want to make out with him forever
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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