Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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