I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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