I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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