I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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