Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
